


Balancing Act

by idrilhadhafang



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Role Reversal, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Dark Poe Dameron, First Order Poe Dameron, First Time, Fluff and Smut, Force-Sensitive Poe Dameron, Jedi Ben Solo, Knight of Ren Poe Dameron, Loss of Virginity, Luke Skywalker Is An Asshole, M/M, Masturbation, One Shot Collection, Riding, Weird Fluff, Young Ben Solo, no chronological order
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-29
Updated: 2018-09-29
Packaged: 2019-07-18 20:51:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16126499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: In another universe, Poe was the Knight of Ren and Ben Solo was the Jedi. These are their stories.





	1. Shame

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

“That creature’s in love with you, isn’t he?”

It doesn’t take a mind-reader to detect the sheer amount of disgust in Luke Skywalker’s voice. Ben can’t wrap his head around it. The very idea of Taral Ren being in love with him...what could Taral see in him? Maybe he’d want him because he was useful, but nothing more than that. 

“What?” Ben finally says. 

“Don’t play stupid,” Luke snaps. “You did something to seduce him. It’s the way he spares you. The way he speaks to you. Even through the Force I feel it. You and he...you’re fraternizing, aren’t you?”

Ben’s too speechless to react, actually. 

Luke continues. “I always knew that I had a traitor as a nephew. But this is too much. What does Taral see in you? You’re not important.”

”Are you jealous of me?” Ben finally says. 

“Far from it, actually. I don’t see anything to be jealous of. You’re mediocre, you’re a failure as a Jedi, and somehow, Taral’s in love with you. Did you bat your eyelashes at him until he caved?” 

“I didn’t.” It’s not that Ben doesn’t feel the same way. It’s just that everything is ruined by his uncle’s cruelty. 

“You’re a traitor to the cause,” Luke says coldly. “In every way.”

***

The next time that he and Taral meet, Taral has the mask off. Taral had expressed disdain for the mask before, calling it “uncomfortable”. The mask off allows Taral to really look at Ben and say, “Did he hurt you? Your uncle?”

Silence. 

“No surprise. Your uncle always was a bastard. At least if what the Supreme Leader said is anything to go by.”

”He’s not wrong,” Ben says. 

“He is.” Taral says. “You’re not...nothing.” He furrows his brows in one of those ways only Ben gets to see; no one would guess that in the end, the most feared warrior of the Knights of Ren is actually quite the dork. “Is that a double negative? I can never tell.” 

Ben can’t help but smile. 

“Grammar quibbles aside,” Taral says, “You’re so much more than you give yourself credit for.” 

“Really?”

”Honest.”

”My uncle said that you loved me. Is that true?”

”Completely. I just wish you hadn’t had to hear it from him.” Taral caresses Ben’s hand, and it’s one of those times his gentle nature just shines through. “I want you to be happy, because seeing you like this is painful. You deserve better.”

”You do too.”

”And you, Ben...do you love me?”

It feels like balancing on the edge of a precipice, ready to fall. Ben supposed that’s why they call it falling in love, because it really does feel like falling. “I do,” he says. “Always, yes.”

Their lips seal the gap. And in a way, Ben doesn’t care that he’s plunging into the ocean from the height of a precipice, that he isn’t thinking this through. Maybe he’s not. But he loves this Knight with all he has, and he doesn’t care that he may be changing the galaxy. 


	2. Secret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

The first time that they make love is uncertain. They’re in some sort of Jedi relic on Yavin IV, where other Jedi used to teach, on one of those old beds. They’re far away from prying eyes, and Taral says, “Are you sure? You really want to do this?”

Ben nods. “I’ve waited long enough. I want this.”

”Right. I mean, I’ve never done this before.” 

Ben furrows his brow. “Never never?”

Taral snorts. “Being a Knight of Ren doesn’t really allow for more...intimate encounters.” He looks at Ben. “So I guess we just go with what feels good, don’t we?”

”Yeah.”

Taral’s tender with him even as he fumbles at the pale robes that conceal Ben’s body. Ben’s heart skips a beat — he’s nineteen, and this is the first time he’s made love to another. Taral undresses him carefully, tenderly, like Ben’s a gift that needs to be unwrapped. Ben’s heart patters in his chest — will Taral want him when he sees what’s underneath?

When Ben’s naked in front of Taral, Taral looks over him in astonishment. “You’re magnificent,” he says. “Everything about you.” 

Ben doesn’t know about that. He’s not exactly attractive, not exactly the sort of person who you would see on holomag covers or in commercials, and yet Taral’s staring at him like he’s in the presence of an angel. 

“No,” Ben says, “But with you, I feel it.”

Taral places a kiss to his shoulder before Ben reaches up to undress Taral. It feels like it takes forever, but seeing how beautiful Taral is is worth it. He’s a strange combination of delicate and strong, and parts of him, Ben is startled to realize, are soft. His hips, his belly...they feel unexpected for a Knight and thus endearing. Taral must notice him staring because he says, “I know that — ’’

”You don’t,” Ben says. "I like that you’re a bit soft. It’s cute.”

Taral snorts. “I’m a Knight. I’m not supposed to be cute.”

”Well, tonight, you’re mine. You don’t have to be a Knight. Really.”

Taral smiles. “You have to be mine too.”

”I already am.”

Ben places kisses to Taral’s belly, letting him know how much he loves this part — like all parts, because it’s part of Taral. Taral trembles beneath him, arches, and Ben gets a view of his glorious, elegant neck, the way his eyes close as he shakes and moans. 

“You...like it?”

”Oh...oh, yes!” Taral whimpers, practically whimpers beneath Ben as Ben moves up his belly towards his nipples. Ben worships those, and Taral’s cries — it’s a miracle that no one’s heard them by now, it really is. 

Ben can’t help but leave little marks near Taral’s neck. There’s a certain thrill in having the Knight as his, and his alone. Taral shivers beneath him, and he murmurs, “Ben...I’m ready.”

Ben pauses in the middle of marking up Taral’s collarbone. “For what?”

”You. In me.”

Ben hesitates. He’s so large and Taral so delicate-looking — he’d crush Taral underneath his body if nothing else. Then Ben says, “Just get on top of me.”

Taral mounts him, and kriff, this was a good decision already. Getting to actually see Taral, see how much this Knight loves him. Ben reaches over, takes the lubricant and slicks his fingers and shaft with it, and Taral sinks onto his fingers. 

Oh. It’s probably not the same as a shaft, but Ben hisses nonetheless. It feels good. He angles his fingers experimentally and Taral writhes; he must have hit the Knight’s prostate. Taral moans again, and it’s intoxicating. When Taral’s ready, Ben removes his fingers and aligns his shaft with the Knight’s entrance. 

Kriff. It feels so good, so complete, and Taral groans. “You’re big,” he says. “Huge. You feel so good.”

”So do you.” Taral’s hot and tight and encompassing, and Ben watches his beautiful face carefully, looking for any sign of needing to stop. “Does it hurt?”

”No.”

”All right.” Ben promises himself he’ll stop if he hurts the Knight. Taral rides him again and again, and Ben instructs him to take himself in hand and stroke himself, and he looks so beautiful doing it that Ben’s left in awe of this god that he’s somehow bringing pleasure to. Taral’s murmuring his adoration as he touches himself and rides Ben like his life depends on it. Ben loves him, and he says as much as Taral murmurs softly. When Taral comes, it splatters Ben’s belly, and Taral whimpers Ben’s name. Ben follows, and he’s painting Taral from the inside with his seed, moaning the Knight’s name. 

Taral draws off him before lying next to him, eyes worshipping him quietly. “That felt amazing.”

”It did. I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

”I’m fine, Ben. I’m short, not delicate.” Taral kisses his shoulder again. “You know, one day we won’t have to keep meeting like this. One day, we can meet in the light. No secrets.”

”Yeah.” Ben nuzzles him. “No secrets.” One day they’ll have that life but for now, Ben can relish in the quiet with his lover next to him. 


End file.
